Grumpy Mornings

It's raining and when I went to prepare breakfast this morning, my cucumber and carrots were frozen. I could have cried! There are so many things about this place that irritate me to no end. The fridge stinks, because not everyone is vegetarian so there is a strong smell of fish and who knows what else, and I have to store my food in there. The kitchen looks disgustingly dirty, there aren't any plates or cutlery or sharp knives lying about in easy access, so I sneak a knife from a grubby looking dish rack, clean it as best I can without any dishwashing liquid, and hope I don't contract some deadly disease in the process. It stinks upstairs too, where I go to fill up my water bottle from a drinking fountain that is one of the few items on this campus that actually looks pristine, but the hallway itself smells (probably more fish stashed in someone's room). I have to drink water every day, and I can say I've tasted worse, but there's a metallic/rancid/off-tasting aftertaste in my mouth after I drink and it stays for the rest of the day. I've been trying to think positive thoughts all week long about how good the water tastes and how healthy I am being, but it doesn't work. My mind refuses to believe opposite to what my tastebuds happily share. So breakfast was 3 slices of bread with mayonnaise, that was it. I know, people in third-world countries don't have a lot of different foods to eat and I shouldn't complain, but even in third-world countries they have their own space (however small it is) and they can go to a nearby vegetable stand and buy fresh vegetables whenever they want, and the cucumbers aren't frozen! I went to bed last night at 10 pm but tossed and turned for about two hours, why, I have no idea, but probably lack of sleep is lending to irritability. Or maybe it's everything compounding. I want to go home, where I feel needed, where I am in my comfort zone, and where I can hide away in a CLEAN house and I don't have to wake up with kinks in my shoulder because the mattress is so hard. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! There's a circus coming to town on Friday but unless I want to walk for an hour in the rain to get there, I probably won't be able to go. Oh well, that's my life. As miserable as it could possibly get right now.