It's a Messy, Messy Journey. . .

. . .but that's what life is. Life and one's spiritual journey. Here are a few random thoughts about it all.

I struggle with finding a church where I fit in and feel at home. So when Sabbath rolls around, I usually spend 30 minutes looking at all the area church bulletins to see which sermon looks the most interesting and then end up skipping Sabbath School and just going in for the sermon. I leave right after church is over because I'm tired of the trite talk from people who are "doing their duty" to make you feel welcome. When I thought about where I could go this week, I decided to go to the one church my peer group would not choose to attend. The reason I'm going there, though, is because despite the controversial environment, the pastor shares what I need to hear: practical Christianity.

If you're still learning Who Jesus is and how you fit into His plan and what your role is in this world, how can others expect you to rush out and evangelize everyone else?

I struggle with feeling like I don't measure up to everyone else's expectations of how a "true" Christian should be. I live in a place where revival and reformation are the buzz words of the day, everyone is required to have a ministry of some sorts and share their personal testimony, and prayer bands are meeting every day of the week and heavily publicized. Now I'm not saying these things are wrong, what I'm saying is that the way in which things are presented can make all the difference.

The problem is that everyone is trying to be the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the One Who convicts, not man.

Life is a messy journey. There's highs and lows, stresses and joys, fears and laughter, anger and peace. Most of us struggle to make sense of our lives while we try to understand how we can serve God in the best way we know how. Horrible things happen and we feel lost, or shout at God and blame Him. Amazing miracles happen and we are in awe that God would remember us. And yet, in the midst of all this whirlwind of a journey, we recognize that there is a purpose and there is a reason. We may not know exactly what yet, but we'll keep on battling to find it until one day, we'll wake up and know that this is exactly where we should be.

Each of us has a unique role to play in God's family. Not all are called to be revivalists, not all are called to be overseas missionaries, and not all are called to be doctors. Some of us are called to be kind, to be empathetic, to be understanding and to care about others as we do our every day tasks.

I struggle with understanding Who God is as a Father. The moments when I don't struggle, though, are the moments when someone shows me Who He is. Those moments are when someone takes the time to care, to genuinely care, with no hidden agenda, no sneering look, no ulterior motives, no impatient glances at their cell phone or laptop. In those moments, when feeble humanity is covered with loving Divinity, I glimpse a flash of what heaven must be like and catch my breath. I long to be used like that to bless others.

The woman who touched Jesus' garment wasn't trying to make it appear that she was more spiritual than everyone else was, as she shrank into the crowd. All she wanted was healing. Jesus gives the same blessing He gave her to everyone today who reaches out in faith to touch Him and find healing for their soul. "your faith has made you well; go in peace. . ."