The Week of Lasts

Yesterday I sat in the elegant white chapel as the priest chanted a funeral dirge and the thought struck me, This is my last Thursday in Lebanon. 

Today was my last Friday. In 3 hours, I will start my last Sabbath. I'm not too pessimistic about it; if life as a TCK has taught me anything, it is that we complete our lives full circle and end up where we began. Sometimes for a day or two; sometimes for a lifetime. But we always return. 

And yet, this time I'm leaving having completed the full circle. Just a few short days after I take to the skies marks 25 years since I left Lebanon the first time. Back then, my parents were separating, my heart was breaking, and I could barely see the coastline for the tears. Today I leave with my own husband, embarking on a life where I plan to go from difficulty into strength; from hardship into anticipation; from challenges into adventures. 

People ask me, Are you ready to go? I smile and reply, Yes, I was ready to leave two years ago. 

Now that it's finally here, really here, I find myself somewhat reluctant to let go. 

The ticket has been booked. The suitcases have been packed. The floors have been mopped and the cupboards have been cleaned. The made-for-us bomb-shelter-turned-apartment that was our home for the last four years is slowly turning back into a sterile building. 

Keeper of my memories; shaper of my heart.