And Breathe, Just Breathe

Today we went to Hamra & walked along the sidewalk. I smiled inside. This was where we used to come 20 years ago and we'd rollerblade while Michael rode his bike. There were no vivid flashbacks but I was content.

I'm finding that there are many experiences in my life where God brings me back to places I was before. Often, it is to help heal a sad memory associated with that place. Each time I find myself in one of those places, I marvel at how well God knows my heart and His kindness in giving me a second opportunity to find joy.

There aren't as many memories as I thought there would be. I'd expected a flood of them to appear once I returned to this country but the flashbacks are often based on a photo or a video clip. Sensory flashbacks still occur, most often connected to smell, but they are fleeting and by the time I can lock into them, they've disappeared. Interestingly, some of them are now attaching themselves to America, which I hadn't predicted.

I'm creating new memories now. The old ones may remain buried for all time or perhaps they're no longer there. But now I can laugh and smile and breathe in deep for this time. This memory.